In the American South, springtime means jonquils, hyacinths, lilacs, and roses; baby birds hatching, frogs croaking on the ponds, gardens being planted, Easter Sunrise Services, and Decoration Days at community cemeteries. Decoration Days have always been a part of my life. As a little girl, I would go to the cemetery with my Daddy the day before a Decoration Day. He would rake and clean the graves and then carry in soil to shovel and build them up. When he finished, each one would be raked free of grass, mounded up with fresh dirt, and carefully smoothed. Gravestones would be washed and gleaming and bright flower arrangements would be placed to adorn the headstones or the grave itself. It was hot work, but there were always others present carefully tending the graves of their own families, so it was a bit of a community social event as everyone worked to prepare the cemetery. It always looked so pretty when we left – everything mowed, and raked, and clean, and beautiful with flowers of all colors and shapes.
The next day (always a Sunday), we would go back after church, this time dressed up in our Sunday best. There was always a crowd – old friends, family members, and schoolmates my parents hadn’t seen since the last Decoration Day the year before. People traveled home from other towns and even other states. Everyone would walk around and look at the different graves, remembering those who were buried there and telling stories about the old days. Children would play (quietly – and outside the cemetery fence because it wasn’t respectful to run and play around the graves) and adults would eventually gather under the trees where the shade helped cool things down a bit. They would continue to talk and reminisce – and I always loved to listen to the stories they told and people they remembered.
There would be a short “Decoration Day” church service at 2:00. Some of the people gathered would go inside to attend and others would stay outdoors laughing and telling stories. I always heard that “back in the day” (before my time) there would be a potluck – a “dinner on the ground” where everyone brought food to share and picnic together. I’m sure people who were not raised with this tradition could think it strange to hold an annual community/family reunion in a cemetery – but to me it is a perfectly natural thing to do. After all, I was raised with it – and I think it’s a lovely tradition that celebrates our heritage….our roots.
I say often that we all stand on the shoulders of the people who came before us – and I mean that sincerely. Without the hard work and innovations of others from years past, we would not have our many modern conveniences and practices. Without them, we would not be able to live the lives we are living or accomplish the things that we do. Because of that, I love the days when I am able to pause, take some time, and look back at those who came before, learn from the memories and stories of others, and honor family members and friends who have left us.
The old tradition still continues. Today I traveled south with my mother to attend the Decoration Day at the cemetery where my Daddy is buried. Unlike those days in the past, we did not arrive a day early to clean and prepare the grave. The tradition of bringing in dirt to “mound up” the graves is gone. (It makes it so much harder for caretakers to mow that way.) Instead, we went out early this morning to clean and decorate the grave, then left to freshen up, have lunch, and return to visit with old friends and family. I still look forward to it every year. There are still so many stories to hear and so many wonderful memories to revisit.
I walked around the cemetery this afternoon admiring the flower arrangements and studying the names on the headstones. The ground was soft and uneven making walking slightly difficult, and the weather was hot and humid. Even more important, you have to carefully watch where you step to avoid the numerous small, almost hidden mounds of fire ants. Still, it’s pleasant to take time to pay respect and remember. Every year, I think about counting how many family members I have buried in that old cemetery. I always start this task and somehow never seem to finish. Today I counted 46 relatives and many more old neighbors or friends. I didn’t cover the entire cemetery so there are undoubtedly several I missed. Perhaps next year! I am who I am partly because of these people (even the ancestors I have never met), and I am grateful that I can take the time to honor them.
As I said earlier, Decoration Days may seem silly or strange to some, and I can understand that……but I am so thankful for this connection to my roots. This wonderful tradition links me to my past, strengthens bonds of family and friends here today, and impacts the future because of the firm foundations it provides.
Love this one!! We would go to Clinton and Walnut Grove for decoration day ! In Clinton on Culpepper mtn is where we had dinner on the ground!!! There was a long row of cement tables , they were very tall, and they were lined with food! My mom would tell about being alittle girl and they would have a flower March into the cemetery and lay flowers on the graves! At Walnut Grove we had Singing all day long in a hot hot little country church and then the cemetery was on a hill behind the church. That cemetery is mostly clay ! I went with my cousins to that cemetery last summer and found all of our relatives!! Good memories!!
Oh, I loved reading your comment! You have great memories as well! I had never heard of a flower march- but that sounds really nice. My great-grandmother used to make all of her cemetery flowers out of crepe paper and wire. I can’t imagine the time it took!
Lisa, Me and my sister take turns with our cousin putting flowers on our Grandmothers grave at Old Hickory. Me and Bruce went out to Old Hickory Friday evening and did just that. Love your blogs!!
Thank you, Cindy! I am enjoying writing them – and I always hope someone will enjoy them! I wish I could have seen you at Old Hickory! I didn’t know your Grandmother was buried there! It’s such a pretty place, I think!
I agree that decorating and tending to the graves shows such a sign of respect. We owe our ancestors so much, and I hope that this tradition of grave tending and visiting continues on in our family for many years to come.
So do I, Gayla! I worry that the tradition is fading – but I was encouraged to see young people there yesterday. Maybe it will continue after all!
I loved this! Just shared on Facebook with your website added! I love reading your stuff! Thanks for sharing!
Thank you SO much for sharing! You made my day! I always hope that someone will enjoy!
I remember doing this as a little girl with my mom’s family going to Mt Sherman cemetery over in Newton county for one. And doing a few up at Boxley, most of the old timers are all gone now not sure the younger generation even does it any more.I do decorate my parents and grandparents here at home.
I am sad to see this tradition fade away. I hope it doesn’t! The Mt. Sherman area always makes me think of the time ELVIS came to Harrison and attended a funeral at the little church over in that area. Do you remember that? I remember I thought it was so cool that he was here!
I remember dinner on the ground so to speak. At Lost Corner church benches were brought outside to set the food on making a great buffet! Singing followed by different ones and maybe a little preaching. It was a special day! I’m glad I have those memories.
I also remember dinner on the ground; we wore the same clothes we had on for church that morning, including new shoes, hats, gloves, and those wonderful petticoats, or stand out slips (ugh)! Even being dressed to the hilt, it was still a fun day, and I am thankful for the experience.