Tag: choices

Posted on

Think on the Good Things

Today is my Mother’s birthday, so she is on my mind a lot this morning….but of course, that’s nothing new. I think about her – and my Daddy – every single day….

When you are blessed to be very close to your parents….everything changes when they pass away….and you have to make up your mind how you will think about things – how you will go on.

I can remember being concerned when Daddy died – wondering how Mother would cope. She had been taking such dedicated care of him for so long and much of her life was devoted to him for several years. A couple of days after his funeral, we were talking on the phone and she said, “Lisa, I didn’t just lose my husband, I’ve lost my job. I’ve got to find a new direction – a new purpose so that I can keep going. I can’t just sit around and feel sorry for myself” And then, I watched her do just that. I thought how smart and how courageous she was….and I relied on her example when I lost her ten years later.

As I said, everything changes when you lose someone very close to you. The world just feels….different. After her death I grieved, of course, but also I worked very hard to think about how best to go forward – to decide what I would think about and how I would handle everything… For example, when someone mentioned my parents, would I be sad – or would I be glad that they were remembered? When I baked one of her recipes, would it bring me joy or sadness? Would I be solemn when I visited a restaurant we used to frequent together – or would I smile and remember all the good times we had? When I wore a piece of her jewelry, would it be a symbol of loss – or a reminder of great memories, blessings, and joy?

My cousin Betty helped me tremendously one day when she said to me: “Lisa, I know three things as surely as I know anything. Jeannie loved Jesus and she loved you – and she would want you to be happy.” I have thought of Betty’s comment over and over these past 2½ years….and I know she is right. Mother always wanted me to be happy – and she still would! So, I have tried very hard to remember to be just that! In other words, I have tried to think about what I think about – and choose to think on the good things. We really do get to choose, you know. (This can be such hard work – but very worth it!) I’ve tried to “program” my brain to celebrate the blessings and memories and lessons. Now, don’t get me wrong. Sometimes I am sad – and that’s okay. Sometimes I want so badly to pick up the phone and call my Mother – to ask her a question, to share some good news, to hear in her voice that she is proud of me. Sometimes, I just let myself be sad…..but not for long!

Two weeks to the day before Mother passed away, she said to me “Lisa, I don’t want you to be sad when I’m gone. Promise me.” I replied, “Mother! I can’t promise that! I am most certainly going to be sad! I will miss you!” She persisted, “Well, you can be a little bit sad of course, but Lisa – don’t wallow in it.” Her kind, wise words were such a caring gift to me.

Is it an easy thing to not be sad? No, it’s not….it’s a choice that you make over and over and over again…..but it’s so worth it!

Six months after my Mother died, I attended an event where I would be meeting Michael Learned. Miss Learned played the role of the mother, Olivia, on the 1970’s television program, The Waltons. When we met, she was seated and I was standing. I introduced myself and told her that I wanted to let her know that the work she did decades ago on that television program still had an impact today. I then told her that my dear Mother had recently passed away. At this point, she held up her hand to interrupt me, then stood to face me and took my hand. “What is your Mother’s name?, she asked. I told her that it was Jean. She continued to stand and held my hand while I told her that during Mother’s final few weeks, she was unable to get out of bed but that she kept a bright smile on her face every day – that her room was never sad to anyone who entered it. I also told her that her hospice team and the staff that attended to her knew to avoid scheduling anything between 11:00 am and noon – because that was when the television show “The Waltons” aired. Mother looked forward to watching it every day, and it brought her such joy.

Miss Learned (still holding my hand) looked me in the eyes and said caringly, “How are you doing?”. I told her I was doing okay. She then took my other hand, looked upwards, and said “Jean, this is Michael. I am here right now with Lisa, and I want you to know she is doing okay. She really is doing okay.”

And you know what? I am – and I am so grateful.

Posted on

The Incredible Privilege

I am continually amazed and grateful for the privilege of a relationship with our Savior, Jesus Christ.

Reading in the Old Testament reminds me that, in order to receive forgiveness or make requests to God, people had to gather sacrifices, bring those sacrifices to the priests and then present their sins, their requests, etc. to God through that priest…..It was quite an effort and had to be done routinely.

BUT, because of Jesus’ loving sacrifice, we don’t have to do all of that! WE CAN SPEAK TO GOD DIRECTLY, ANY TIME WE WANT – AND HE HEARS US! We can ask for forgiveness for mistakes we have made, we can make our requests, we can ask Him questions, we can even talk to Him about our day. Think about that!!! Wow!!!

Often when I’m busy, I am tempted to neglect my prayer life….then I remember the unbelievable, overwhelmingly incredible privilege it is to pray…..and it helps me remember what a priority prayer is…

We are blessed to have the opportunity of relationship with Christ.

Posted on

Glimpses of Excellence – A Green Checkmark

the green checkmark

Excellence can come in so many different forms….I heard a sermon once from one of my favorite pastors that talked about the excellence involved in returning your shopping cart to the cart corral when you are finished with it. I liked that – because it’s such a simple thing to do that truly does show care and respect for others. As we’ve all heard so often, sometimes it’s the little things…

Last month, my mother and I arrived at the University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences (UAMS) for a busy day of appointments. Medical days can be tiring, stressful, and a bit overwhelming. When we finished our third appointment of the day, the doctor left and his nurse, Ryan, came in to walk us through the information (new medications, upcoming appointments, general facts, best practices, etc.) – all the things we would need to know in the days and weeks ahead. He discussed all of the points thoroughly, assuring us that he was also providing a printed copy of all the information we needed to take home, review, and reference. He thoughtfully provided not one but two neatly stapled identical packets – one for Mother and one for me – and we tucked them into our bags and hurried off to our next appointment.

While there, I received a call from Nurse Ryan, who said after consulting with others on the medical team, there had been some updates to the information packet after we left. He said he had reprinted two new copies and would be leaving them at the patient desk for us to pick up at our convenience. “I put a green checkmark on the first page of each of the new packets”, he said. “That way, when you get home you will know which to keep and which to throw away.”

A green checkmark… it seems like such a small thing, but I have thought a lot about this simple act, this choice he made to go above and beyond, several times since that day. When I emptied out my bag after returning home, there were many papers and leaflets collected throughout our visit – information I wanted to read and study, leaflets I was interested in scanning, and the packets of neatly stapled printed information we needed to keep. Tossing the original packets in the trash, I began reading through the updated packet – the one with the neat, circled green checkmark on the top. That small detail – that quick action – communicated caring, diligence, and even comfort.

Sometimes it IS the little things that matter the most.

Posted on

Choosing Your Focus

How many of you are, like me, feeling tired? Tired of all the troubles in the world…..the unsettling news we see and hear every day…the worry…the fear. I’ve heard myself saying in different conversations several times this week, “I’m just so tired.”

The information we hear is confusing….and frightening and….(I’ll say it again) tiring. I try really hard. I wear a mask in public, I social distance, and I stay home as much as possible….I try to do what I hope is best – but I miss my old life, my family, my friends, my neighbors – and the places and things I used to visit regularly. I buy my groceries through online orders and I wipe them down before I put them away. I use hand sanitizer after I pump gasoline or use an ATM, and I wash my hands thoroughly many times every day. I try to do everything I know to do to keep myself and others safe….and you know what? I’ve still been worried……and tired. Lately, I have just felt plain tired.

It’s funny – even though I try to read the Word and spend time with the Lord every day, I sometimes forget to pray specifically about some of the things that concern me. I should know better! A few days ago, I started praying for answers…..or direction……or any help the Lord could provide. And at first,, I didn’t hear any answers…..but I continued….because one of the things I know for sure is that He has ALL the answers and He loves each of us dearly….and sometimes we just need to trust. So, I continued to pray. A few days later, a friend sent me a screenshot she had taken from a devotional she had read. She doesn’t usually send devotions to me – but I guess she thought I might like to read this one. She was right!

It inspired and comforted me, so I saved it. It seemed like maybe it could be the answer I was looking for…..but I wasn’t completely sure.

Thankfully…..God is so patient and good! I kept praying and I tried very hard to listen…..and in the last week I’ve seen that very same message in so many different ways….so I wanted to share it with others in hopes that it will encourage you the way it has me.

It’s very simple – focus on the Lord! Keep our eyes on Him – not the trouble around us! Shut out the “noise” as much as possible – and think about the Lord, His promises, His Truths…and just how much He loves us, and everything will be okay.

I don’t think this means that we all get to walk down the yellow brick road to the Emerald City. That’s not my point at all! Sometimes we go through difficult, unpleasant things, but God will be there holding our hand if we choose to stay close to Him! This makes me think of a story…

When I was about 15 years old, my daddy had a little used car lot in Green Forest, Arkansas. One of the worst parts of selling used cars are the days when you have to go to someone’s home and repossess their car due to nonpayment. Daddy hated it – because he was a giver and he liked to help others….but sometimes, sadly, it became necessary. His little car lot sat less than a mile from our house, and phone calls to the car lot rang in both places. That way, if Daddy was out talking to a customer, Mother or I could answer at home and take a message for him. One morning, I was home alone and the car lot phone rang several times, so I picked it up and answered “J and J Auto – can I help you?” A man on the other end of the line began yelling and cussing at me – and I was shocked. At that point in my young life, I had never been cursed before and immediately some of my innocence was shattered. I was devastated. Apparently, Daddy had repossessed his car because he had never made a payment on it – and several months and several warnings had gone by. I took a deep breath, tried very hard to stay calm, finally got the man to give me his name and number and wrote them down. I hung up the phone and started to cry. A little while later, Daddy called because he had heard the phone ringing while he was talking to a customer outside. He heard in my voice that something was wrong, so I told him the story. He apologized that I had to hear that and comforted me calmly. After talking to Daddy, I definitely felt better, but still kept replaying those hateful, angry words directed at me.

About an hour or so later, the phone rang again. When I answered it, I heard Daddy say, “I have someone here who wants to talk to you.” The man I had spoken to that morning

came on the phone and said, “I wanted to say that I’m sorry for the way I talked to you earlier. I had no business speaking to you like that, I and I wanted to let you know that it will never happen again.” Feeling a little awkward and embarrassed, I think I said something simple like, “Okay.” and that was it. I hung up the phone, and the feelings of hurt, disappointment, and confusion that I had felt earlier changed immediately. Now, I felt loved, protected, and extremely cared for….obviously my Daddy had made it a priority to leave his work, find the man, and convince him to apologize respectfully. As a result of my earthly father’s efforts that day, a negative situation left me with a positive impact. Our Heavenly Father can do so much more!

Like I said, sometimes we have to walk through difficult, painful, hurtful, frightening situations and times – but our heavenly Father is always there with us. He may not stop the events from happening – but He can help us to grow through them. His plans are good plans – and when we keep our eyes FOCUSED ON HIM instead of all of the problems, He can guide us through all the chaos – and even use this time and these hardships to achieve something BETTER. He loves us so very much.

Isaiah 43:1b-4 (The Message)

“Don’t be afraid, I’ve redeemed you.

I’ve called your name. You’re mine.

When you’re in over your head, I’ll be there with you.

When you’re in rough waters, you will not go down.

When you’re between a rock and a hard place,

it won’t be a dead end—

Because I am God, your personal God,

The Holy of Israel, your Savior.

I paid a huge price for you:

all of Egypt, with rich Cush and Seba thrown in!

That’s how much you mean to me!

That’s how much I love you!

I’d sell off the whole world to get you back,

trade the creation just for you.

You know what? I firmly believe better times are coming!