Connections are Special

Being surrounded by family was normal for me when I was a little girl growing up in Conway County. The roots of all sides of my family are deep there, and I was blessed to grow up being loved by so many. I was only 8 years old (almost 9) when Mother and Daddy decided to move to Carroll County, and I remember what it felt like for the first time in my life to go to school, to church, to the grocery store, even to the park and not run into family or familiar friends. We were the only Carlons in Carroll County, and it felt unfamiliar and strange to have no connections. It seemed to me that my classmates knew everyone – that they had those local roots and connections that I was used to…. I wasn’t sad – it just felt….different, like something was missing.

When I started junior high, the halls on the high school wing of the building were lined with pictures of all the classes to ever graduate from Green Forest. Those pictures dated back to the late 1800’s. In addition, the sidewalks we walked on going to the cafeteria every day had the names of each of the classes recorded in the concrete. It all fascinated me – and I loved reading them – seeing the names of so many of my classmates’ siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, parents, and grandparents – I loved history and family and connections even then!

I remember how excited I was when I learned that my Great-Uncle Ira and Great-Aunt Oretha had lived in Green Forest at one time. I remember when Daddy told me – I was eager to find out where their house stood and when they had lived here. I was full of questions – wondering why I hadn’t been told this before! I was very excited to find out that their oldest daughter Sarah, my first cousin once removed, had graduated from Green Forest High School. It may sound silly, but it was almost comforting to know that I had a connection too. I remember eagerly searching for her name as I walked the sidewalks. Knowing that both she and I graduated from the same high school – the only members of our family to do so – has always made me feel a kindred connection to her.

Discovering connections and learning the stories of my family’s roots and the journey from long ago to today is important and enjoyable to me. I’ve been having such fun with my ancestry research….

A few weeks ago, I posted a story about my 6th great-grandfather, U.S. Brigadier General Levi Garrett Casey, a decorated hero of the Revolutionary War. My link to him runs through my great-grandmother, Maggie Beeson – and I have found his stories fascinating.

While researching great-grandfather Casey and his family – I found some information about his brother, Jesse, that revealed another interesting connection. Jesse was born in Maryland and later moved with his family to South Carolina. He had five sons, one named Aaron. Along with his father, his uncles, and his grandfather, Aaron fought in the Revolutionary War, serving under Colonel Benjamin Roebuck.

One of Aaron’s sons, Abner (named for his great-grandfather), married and in 1834 moved his family to Arkansas, settling on the Buffalo Fork of the White River in what is now Newton County. I was surprised to discover that his homestead was located 40 or 50 miles from the house I live in now. (I think that’s so cool!)

According to information found in the Springfield (MO) Greene County Library, Abner, a millwright, built one of the first water mills in the area. He also built one of the first Baptist church buildings. He and his wife Elizabeth lived the remainder of their lives on their Newton County farm and are buried near Parthenon.

Here’s where I think the story gets really interesting!

Abner and his wife Elizabeth had four sons. One was named Levi (presumably after his great great uncle). After living in Arkansas for several years, Levi moved his family to Taney County, Missouri and settled on a land grant on Swan Creek near present-day Forsyth. He cleared the land and built a cabin, living there many years for the remainder of his life. The cabin was loved and stayed in the family for many years….until the late 1940’s when Bull Shoals Dam was being built. The construction of the dam meant the property would need to be sold, so Levi’s great-granddaughter, Opal McHaffie Parnell, sold the land with the stipulation that she could relocate and keep the treasured family home.

Years later, the beloved relocated cabin is still standing – in fact I visited it recently….as I have done many, many times through the years – never knowing of the family connection. The beautiful old dog-trot cabin, built by Levi Casey (my 3rd cousin 4X removed), is the McHaffie Homestead located on the grounds of the Silver Dollar City theme park.

Ironically, it’s one of my favorite places to visit at the park! Through the years, I have sat on the porch of the old dog-trot cabin many times listening to the City’s storyteller – Judy Dockery Young, watching depictions and demonstrations of pioneer life, or enjoying the beautiful music of the “Homestead Pickers” band.

Now, each visit is going to be a little bit more fun.

Connections are special.

What Kind of Ripples Are We Making?

I was raised to be kind to others….not just to “be nice” when someone talked to me….but to care….to watch others in order to see when someone needed a kind word, or assistance, or encouragement. My parents showed me by example that we should help other people out whenever we can….and I saw each of them do this over and over and over again throughout my life…. They provided me with such valuable lessons, and I am forever grateful.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

I don’t drive down highway 76 through Branson West, Missouri all that often….maybe a dozen times a year or so…..but every time I do I am cheered and encouraged when I drive past this Taco Bell.

In fact, believe it or not, I usually smile inwardly and actually feel comforted when I see it.

I know this sounds strange. It has nothing to do with Mexican Pizzas, or burritos, or nachos…. Let me explain…

When my Daddy’s Parkinson disease required him to enter a long-term care facility in Kimberling City at a much-too-young age, for several years (until he passed away) my Mother drove the 50-mile round trip to see him every day. (Every single day!) Daddy’s mind was as sharp as always, and his body was very strong – but his balance and coordination suffered greatly. After several incredibly hard, dangerous falls (with no broken bones ever, thank God!), it was time for some much-needed help.

We were very blessed that he was placed in a private room – and he and Mother would spend the days there together.

Each week, for a change of pace, they would load up in Mother’s van and go riding around for a while or go out to get a bite to eat. One of the places they loved going regularly – was the Taco Bell in Branson West. Going out wasn’t easy! The staff at the care facility would help Daddy get out of his room and safely into the van – but of course, once they left on these driving excursion adventures – they were on their own….

…but not really. Because there are kind and caring people everywhere – people who have learned to watch others in order to see when someone needs a kind word, or assistance, or encouragement….people who are bold enough to step in and take action to help. (This is still true today!)

When Mother and Daddy started going to the Branson West Taco Bell, she would get out and help him walk in – and they would enjoy their meal out together. It was their “date” day! On days when his balance was pretty good, not a lot of assistance was needed…..but as it got worse it became harder for one person alone to assist him.

Then one afternoon as I was driving home from work, Mother called me – excited to tell me about the day. They had gone to Taco Bell as usual, and the staff who had seen them come in each week went above and beyond. Mother said before she could get the van parked and get out to go around and help Daddy – two of the young Taco Bell employees were at his door, smiling and telling him that they would walk in with him. Daddy walked in safely with an employee on each arm – and my parents enjoyed their meal together.

After that, almost every time they pulled up at Taco Bell, employees hurried out to the parking lot to assist them.

It brought Mother and Daddy such joy. It made them feel cared about. It provided Mother with some caregiver relief. It allowed my very social father to make new friends. It was a wonderful, observant, caring act of compassion.

And now – almost 15 years later – the memory of all of those folks and their active compassion continues to cheer, encourage, and inspire me even today. The ripples of kindness that they showed over a decade ago are still active.

It makes me wonder- to stop and evaluate – what do I do each and every day to help those around me? What do I do to see the needs, to listen, to encourage, to support?

What kind of ripples am I making?

They last a lot longer than we can ever know. I want to be sure I leave good ones behind in my wake.

For a narrated version of this story – click below.

Happy 90th Birthday, Mel Tillis

Mel Tillis stories are far better told in person and not in written form – because Mel, despite his lifelong stutter, had an absolutely incredible understanding of the art of communication and he used it beautifully. His vocal inflections, his timing, his choice of words, his facial expressions and his body language made his stories simply priceless. Since I can’t tell you this story in person (Believe it or not, I can do a fairly good impression 🙂 ), I hope those of you who are familiar with Mel will be able “hear” him as you read.

Mel was one of the first Nashville celebrities to build his own theater in Branson. He was also one of the first to copy the practice established by local Branson shows of meeting and greeting the audience in an autograph line after each performance.

Always a gracious host, he cared about his fans and would pose for pictures, shake hands, and visit briefly with anyone who took the time to stand in the (always) long lines to meet him.

One night in August, 20 years ago, I went to see Mel’s show at his Branson theater, sitting in my favorite row (L) about halfway back in the crowd. After the show, I waved to Mel as I was leaving, not wanting to disturb the autograph line, but wanting to wish him a late greeting for his birthday that had passed just a few days before. (It was a big one!). He smiled and waved me over for a hug. As I got closer he grinned mischievously and said, “Heyyyyy, Lisa! Did you know I’m goin’ on 80 years old?” Out of the corner of my eye, I saw several people in the autograph line turn and stare in surprise at this news.

I rolled my eyes and said, “Mel, you’re 70!” I heard a few chuckles. He looked at me with a sincere face but a small hint of a grin and said, “I know that, Lisa….dat’s a-goin’ on 80!” Everyone started laughing. Even in the autograph line, he was working the crowd, delivering humor and bringing joy.

It takes enormous talent and determination to be a successful country music singer or song writer. Mel achieved both…….but even more impressively, he was a gifted, talented, intelligent, creative, and intuitive entertainer.

Today, on what would have been his 90th birthday, I’m thinking about so many stories and smiles. I am blessed to have known him.